For the past few days I've totally fallen off the wagon. I stepped on the scale this morning and, fortunately, did not do any major damage. I have named the problems and really tried to reflect on them. Now to do something!
The very first physical problem is that when I count POINTS or calories or anything that limits my food, I sometimes don't make the best decisions. In doing so, I often don't eat enough protein and end up getting ravenously hungry. Then I just go for whatever is around me and throw caution to the wind. That's my first trigger.
Then, what happens is I let defeat seep in. This is problem number two. I say to myself, "why bother because I'm going to fail anyway?" This is toxic. I usually give in because I'm pretty good at convincing myself. After all, most people who diet gain back all their weight. Some people say it's in the 80% range and some say 95-98%. With odds like that it feels like nonsense to waste my time. Writing this isn't even helpful because it reminds me of the numbers.
The third thing that I have going on is a little deeper and a little more convoluted. For some reason I mentally connect with the struggle of being fat. I see how the world judges fat people and treats them as less than. I reject that mentality! I think in doing so, I'm hanging on to some extra pounds in solidarity. It sounds outrageous, but I think this is part of my problem. I've really spent some time reflecting and this has come up for me multiple times.
So, that's it for today. I'm going to try. I may change up my plan a little bit, but I'm not going to quit forever. I'll update on my plan and I will continue to post weight loss progress here.
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