It is Time

I have been in a bit of an up and down funk with weight loss these past few months.  The scale's fluctuation reflects my noncommittal attitude.  So, for some inspiration, I went back and read my old weight loss blogs here on this site.  

I'm so glad I wrote down the truth of my journey and didn't sugar coat it.  I'm so glad I can look back and see what I really did.  My messy action was incredibly sloppy.  But it was ultimately effective in helping me keep off around 20 pounds for five years.  It was effective in leading me away from an unhealthy A1C and some other not so great bloodwork numbers.

However, these past several months at my sedentary job I've felt the creep.  And I have let some things get into my head about health and weight loss that have caused me to veer away from my easygoing look at health and steer me toward black and white thinking.  I'm glad I spotted it.  

I hadn't felt "food feelings" in years.  I had really let go of the hold certain modes of eating and the extra organic lifestyle had on me.  For reasons I don't feel like getting into, those feelings began a slow crawl back into my psyche.

Like I said above, I'm glad I caught it.  Because now I can take action.  

One of the things I'm so happy that I read in my past rantings is my commitment to not quitting.  I decided that even if I messed up every day in a week, I wasn't going to quit.  Even if I found that I gained weight in some of my self-directed 10 week challenges I would not quit.  I had decided that though I might get to where I wanted to go very slowly, failure was not an option.

One thing I did notice, though, was that complacency developed after my body started feeling good.  Maybe that was a good thing and maybe it wasn't.  It led me to settle for a minimum of weight loss (around 20 pounds) but it also left me feeling relatively satisfied.  I really would like to be a lower weight than what I landed at at my lowest (169 as recorded here but 162 later when I was not recording here) but I think I need to find my why.

Why do I want to weigh 150 pounds?  Is that number arbitrary?  Do I need different goals?  I will evaluate that in the weeks to come and flesh it out here.

Beyond worrying about a down-the-line goal, what are my plans for this week?  

• Track food using the old Weight Watchers plan that I'm most familiar and happy with - FlexPoints
• Buy some foods that I know will help keep me on track - light breads, chicken, fruits and veggies that I know I like, lower calorie snacks that I enjoy

Longer-lasting but still short term plans?

• Write about my experience here once a week

Advice to myself as I start back up at this thing?  Don't worry that you're going about it all wrong.  You probably are.  Don't worry about the mistakes.  You will make them on the reg.  Don't worry that you overindulged a day here and there. It's about the overall progress.  

Are you trying?  Are you doing better than you were a month ago?  If the answer is yes, great.  You're on the right track.  If the answer is no, reevaluate, see what went wrong, adjust and move forward.  You're still on the right track.  

Attitude is everything!  You can do this.  You are doing this.